So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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