Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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