Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize