it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
