He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry š¬
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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