Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
