im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i believe in u and ur pee
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