Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize