we have pet lesbian snakes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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