I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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