But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
