I don't usually arrange sex via text message
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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