so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize