Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
