I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
