I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
