you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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