I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
