is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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