And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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