u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
