i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
