If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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