At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
