may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
