omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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