I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize