Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
