i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
