You don't have asthma, your pregnant
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
