I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
