Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
