i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
