five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
