i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
