I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
