oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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