I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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