Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
