$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
