your room smells of hookers.
And success
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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