During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
