Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
