dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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