Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
