How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's always time for handjobs
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize