Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
only you would photoshop your dick
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
