How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
