YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize