she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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