I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
