we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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