What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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