No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
