You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
