why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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