batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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