i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
