ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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