your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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