He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
