I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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