Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
