we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
