This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
