so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize