I need to stop coming to work sober
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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