Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i believe in u and ur pee
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
