There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
