He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
