OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
