Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
