I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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