Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
