I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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