Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
