I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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