i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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