Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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