I hope mine doesn't look like that
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize