Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
