are you still at the devil's house?
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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